Mental health in the military is often an unspoken topic. For many of us who serve, especially in leadership roles, there’s a lingering fear that admitting we’re struggling will make us appear weak. I used to think that, too.
But I’ve come to learn that seeking help doesn’t take away from your strength; it reveals it.
Today, I want to share a piece of my story. It’s not easy to talk about, but it’s real, and my hope is that it will encourage someone else to take that first step toward healing.
Hiding My Emotions in Uniform
When I first joined the Army, and for the first five years of my service, mental health was something you kept to yourself.
You didn’t want to be seen as “crazy,” or worse, unfit to lead. The unspoken rule was to push through it, tough it out, and move on.
I internalized that belief and wore my strength like armor. But what I didn’t realize then was that pushing through without healing was slowly breaking me down.
My Personal Mental Health Struggles
For years, I kept my thoughts to myself. I didn’t want anyone to see me as weak, especially not my Soldiers.
But the truth is, we can be our own harshest critics, and I was. I’d overthink everything, believe the worst about myself, and replay old memories that fed into my insecurities.
I often vented to my husband about how I felt, and he encouraged me to seek therapy. He’s dealt with his own mental health battles, and his experience with treatment opened my eyes to what was possible. Still, I resisted. I told myself I didn’t need it. That I could figure it out on my own.
But deep down, I was tired, tired of carrying everything alone.
Eventually, I realized I couldn’t ignore what was happening. The pain I felt didn’t start in adulthood, it began in childhood. And every triggering event I experienced over the years only added to the weight I was carrying. Therapy helped me connect the dots and find ways to finally release what I had been holding onto for so long. I started to understand myself in a new way. And that changed everything.
Finding Strength
Healing didn’t happen overnight, but it began the moment I said yes to help.
Therapy gave me more than a safe space, it gave me tools. I learned to recognize my triggers, to pause before reacting, and to replace shame with self-compassion.
Faith also played a huge role in my journey. I began to pray more intentionally, asking God to help me see myself the way He sees me strong, capable, and worthy. That prayer gave me clarity. I started journaling, giving myself grace, and making time to care for my emotional well-being. My husband stood by me through it all, constantly reminding me that I wasn’t alone.
His support was—and still is—a major part of my strength.
One of the tools that’s really helped me along the way is gratitude journaling.
Every morning, I take a few minutes to write down what I’m thankful for—even if it’s something small. I started this habit with the Miracle Morning routine by Hal Elrod, which I’ve stuck with ever since. It helps me shift my focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. If you want to get started, I highly recommend this Gratitude Journal I found on Amazon. It is simple, uplifting, and keeps me grounded in the positives, even on tough days.
Another resource that helped me with my thoughts was Joyce Meyer’s book, Battlefield of the Mind.
She breaks down how our thoughts influence everything from our emotions to our actions and how we can begin to renew our minds through God’s Word. Reading it gave me clarity on why I was thinking the way I was and how to start shifting my mindset. If you’re struggling with negative thinking, I highly recommend checking it out—Battlefield of the Mind is a powerful read.
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It’s Okay to Ask for Help
We need to shift the way we think about mental health in the military. Seeking help doesn’t make you less of a Soldier, a parent, or a leader; it makes you honest, self-aware, and human. The more we talk about it, the more we permit others to do the same.
If you’re reading this and silently struggling, I want you to know:
- it’s okay to ask for help.
- It’s okay to cry.
- It’s okay to be tired.
- It’s okay not to have it all figured out.
What’s not okay is believing that you’re the only one feeling this way. You’re not.
Strength Comes from Healing
I’m still on my journey. I still have hard days, but now I face them with tools, with faith, and with support.
I am stronger than ever, not because the battles stopped, but because I finally stopped fighting them alone.
If you’re in the middle of your storm, I want you to believe that healing is possible.
You can break cycles. You can grow. You can feel joy again. And most importantly, you don’t have to do it alone.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, or leave a heart emoji if you’re not ready to share. You’re not alone, and your voice, your story, matters.
Remember, strength isn’t about how much you can carry. It’s about knowing when to put something down and ask for help.
